Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

What are some sad truths about life?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why cant I sleep on my side after getting my covid vaccine? I just got the shot and I’ve been overstimulated from not being able to sleep, my arm is very sore and it hurts so much to move and I just want to sleep but it hurts if I lay on either side

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why is it easy to make money in the USA?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

How do I run away? I'm 15 and live in Oklahoma.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Stock futures slip after S&P 500 ends three-day win streak: Live updates - CNBC

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why do people love to live alone in a house?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have a reading level above third grade

How do you stop your balls from sweating?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

What measures do celebrities take to protect their images from being used for commercial purposes without permission? How much does this typically cost them?

I don’t buy bullshit

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Why are so many people anti-Trump? People didn't like Obama either, but he was the president, so people didn't do this. What makes Trump different?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why do some people never get to on a date even though they wanted to? Are they just too ugly and weird for everybody?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How do I deal with autistic burnout/meltdown/shutdown when cooking?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Have you ever been forced to undress for money just once?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What makes you think that former U.S. President Donald Trump's legal team has already been laying the groundwork for an appeal in the hush money trial?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can count

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can read